Looks Like I Picked The RIGHT Week To Quit Huffing Glue

"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion) 08/20/2019 at 09:36 • Filed to: personal rant

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But seriously, over the summer I probably drink too much. It’s just all that Fun in the Sun (TM) and time at the lake, not to mention very late sunsets, warm nights, cool nights, rainy nights, ok I don’t really need an excuse to enjoy an adult beverage. It’s good I have a wife, kids, and job to keep myself in check because let’s just say I didn’t always have that check, and had some friends who have been to rehab, or probably should have been. Not great influences, though I’ve never been to a point that I felt was dangerous or terribly unhealthy. I’m not overweight and never have been, and it’s never EVER reached a level where I caused any sort of harm or trouble (legal or otherwise) to anyone including myself.

ALL THAT SAID, I could cut back, and it would be good for me. So here we are, it’s August 20th and my son’s 7th birthday is Friday. My daughter’s birthday is 2 weeks later. Work is very busy; I’m covering for someone who’s out on medical leave and I don’t really know how to do his job. I have tons of personal and professional commitments in the coming weeks, we’re doing work at our house, I’m trying to help my sister buy a car and sell a tractor, both kids are starting school, our anniversary is coming up, kids will have soccer soon, and so on. You know, normal life stuff - I know I’m not special.

But t here’s no better time to be as healthy and clear of mind as possible, so I’m taking this opportunity to clean up a little. I’ve said this to myself but putting it in writing is different. I’m making a concerted effort to cut back. No beer on weeknights. Nothing before kids are in bed on Fridays. Weekends, I’ll take one at a time. Last Sunday we were on the lake all afternoon and I had a few beers. If we were home I wouldn’t have. I’m ok with that, and my wife is in the same boat, no pun intended.

Part of the reason I’m on this path is that I know my kids are watching what I do and internalizing it all, whether I like it or not. It’s never too early to set a good example, in whatever way I can. The fact that they’re 5 and 7 and have never to this day spoken a 4-letter word (to my knowledge), and they love vegetables and generally have good manners, and they’re confident, happy, healthy people, means we’re doing a lot right. But one can always do more.

So here’s to being (more) sober... even if it’s not a complete conversion. I’m confident I will find a good balance. I’d consider quitting altogether but don’t feel it’s necessary at this time. Like, I shouldn’t eat Cape Cod chips every day, either, but don’t take them from my life. Or coffee. Don’t you dare come for my coffee.

Singer for your time. Because I bet if I added up every single penny I ever spent on alcohol over the last 18 years... nah I still couldn’t afford one.

OPPOsaurus WRX > functionoverfashion 08/20/2019 at 09:46

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I’ll (not) drink to that.  I’ve been feeling the same way.  I’ve been doing pretty good with not having anything to drink on week nights.  Saturday I have a huge beach cookout to go to and sunday in my wife’s grandfathers 85th birthday so this weekend looks like it will be a bit blurry.  

CalzoneGolem > functionoverfashion 08/20/2019 at 09:47

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Me reading this post:

Ash78, voting early and often > functionoverfashion 08/20/2019 at 10:02

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Kudos — this resembles me a little too much! My wife and I love to drink, and society doesn’t ever put any shame on that (like it does for drugs). So it’s encouraged in social circles, the media, you name it. Kind of a weird relationship we all have with a poison, isn’t it?

I’m totally against long summer breaks for a ton of reasons, but the break in the “normal schedule” is a big part of it. We get bored, short-tempered, lazy, drink too much, and the kids all follow suit — except the drinking part. Year-round school (6 weeks on, 2-3 weeks off) would be so much better, IMO, but there are only a few dozen cities in the US that even do it.

Commitments help — like you, we’ve got home stuff, I’m coaching 9-year-old soccer 3x a week, daughter is doing soccer for the first time, we have Wednesday and Sunday church obligations, you name it. Keeping a schedule leads to a lot of extra discipline.

But most of all, the kids around you (both yours and others) will take a cue from your habits, for better or worse. I just need to work on stress/temper with them. But that’s such a parenting cliché.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > functionoverfashion 08/20/2019 at 10:14

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Good on you. I’ve cut way back in the last few years, and have noticed an improvement in my quality of life. I don’t have kids or anything, I just got tired of feeling like crap all the time. 

Snuze: Needs another Swede > functionoverfashion 08/20/2019 at 10:14

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Good on you. I’ve cut way back in the last few years, and have noticed an improvement in my quality of life. I don’t have kids or anything, I just got tired of feeling like crap all the time. 

functionoverfashion > Snuze: Needs another Swede 08/20/2019 at 10:19

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A friend who is known for his simple, dry humor, put it this way: “I like beer. I like drinking beer. But if I feel it the NEXT day? That’s no good.”

That’s certainly a thing I can agree with - with few exceptions, feeling badly for a whole day is NOT WORTH the fun of being drunk for a few hours. 

functionoverfashion > Ash78, voting early and often 08/20/2019 at 10:29

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You’re on point in a number of ways. I actually have our nanny come over earlier in the summer than our normal leave-for-school time in the winter because it gets me out of bed earlier. But, I’m out of work at 3pm which, in July, is half the day.

For me too, my wife and I both like to drink, and our families do too. No one is problematic, really, though a distant uncle died from his alcoholism among other related health issues. We never saw him and barely talked to him, but he was nonetheless blood-related.

And being patient with my kids is really something I work VERY hard on, and still I could be better - just like you said, it’s a parenting cliche but it’s TRUE. For sure, c ontrolling my emotions is easier with distance from alcohol (I find the same is true of caffeine but... I have only one cup of coffee in a typical day, so meh).

There’s really no downside to drinking less. 

functionoverfashion > OPPOsaurus WRX 08/20/2019 at 10:31

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I have said many times, “Everything in moderation, including excess.” 

Snuze: Needs another Swede > functionoverfashion 08/20/2019 at 10:59

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Well the thing is, until I cut back, I didn’t realize I was feeling like crap. In retrospect I had a hard time getting up in the morning, was always overly tired, stuff like that. But at the time it all felt “normal”.

Once I cut back I started noticing it was easier to get up, I had more energy, etc. It wasn’t like this amazing transformation, and I’m still not nor have I ever been a “ morning person”, but it was a noticable improvement on “normal. ” 

functionoverfashion > Snuze: Needs another Swede 08/20/2019 at 11:47

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That’s interesting. I’m not a morning person either. But I know what you mean by a ‘better normal.’ 

ttyymmnn > functionoverfashion 08/20/2019 at 17:02

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You sound remarkably like me, right down to the Cape Cod chips. I get the giant bag from Costco, and would eat the whole damned thing if I didn’t stop myself.

I’ve been a pretty heavy beer drinker for most of my life. It’s just always been a part of me. Now, at almost age 53, I’m fighting some health issues that would be a whole lot better if I didn’t drink and got more exercise. So I, too, am cutting back. Four days off, three days on. My problem, though, is that when I’m on, I’m really on. And that has to change too.

Part of my health issues deal with a hiatal hernia, and drinking or eating too much can really make me miserable. Along with the hernia comes GERD, and now I have vocal cord dysfunction, which sounds worse than it is, but the speech pathologist said that I shouldn’t drink for at least six weeks. We’ll see how that goes. Thing is, if I choose not to drink, I won’t drink. Even if there’s beer in the fridge. However, if I have one, I’ll have six. My doctor said that’s some sort of “gateway” condition or something. So it’s almost impossible for me to be a light drinker.

Good luck with all of that. I know exactly what you are going through, and I will you all the best. And above all, enjoy the clarity. Peace.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > functionoverfashion 08/20/2019 at 19:27

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M’lady and I agreed a couple of months back that Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday would be alcohol free days. Primarily because we were drinking every night and I was putting away 8 to 10 standard drinks at a time... sometimes more.

This decision has resulted in significantly reduced consumption on at least two of the other four nights as well. Which is even better.

functionoverfashion > ttyymmnn 08/20/2019 at 22:25

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Thanks for the response, it means a lot hearing from others and that’s partly why I shared my thoughts here in the first place. I have been incredibly lucky with health overall; I eat pretty well and exercise comes naturally to me, but still, I don’t work hard at it. I know I can’t just pretend that my habits don’t matter, though, even if so far I have not suffered any health repercussions.

Anyway, I know it’s not healthy to drink as much as I have been and that’s the real reason. I want to be around for my kids as they get older and I want to do all the fun things my parents did with us, because they’re very healthy for their age. 72 and 73 this year and my father still runs regularly, they both ski and hike and paddle and it’s great. I hope I can ski with my grandkids!

TheRealBicycleBuck > functionoverfashion 08/21/2019 at 07:46

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They think there’s a genetic component to alcoholism/addiction. I say this because of my family. I was fortunate that my mom decided to side with the teetotalers in the family after her divorce since it kept me away from the “ gateway” behaviors. My father and my half brother both died from overdoses of pain killers and alcohol, one in his fifties, the other in his twenties. On my mother’s side, one of my uncles provided the bad example by becoming an alcoholic, then ending up divorced before his thirties. Another uncle started down that road, did some bad things while he was drunk, then committed suicide so he wouldn’t have to face the consequences (leaving five kids behind in the process).

I jumped into the fun when I went off to college, but a few things happened that put me back on the straight and narrow. One was a night of debauchery fueled by a bottle of Bacardi, most of which I only know about because of stories my friends shared. After that, I took a job where I had to deal with drunken people all the time. There were three separate incidents where people ended up in the hospital because of their drunken stupidity and that was enough to set me straight for good. The most I have now is a beer with a meal and that hasn’t happened for years.

I’ve come to the conclusion that anything which impairs your judgement is a bad thing, so I applaud your efforts to get off the stupid sauce.

functionoverfashion > TheRealBicycleBuck 08/21/2019 at 08:39

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For sure it can be a nasty, terrible thing. I’m lucky that most people around me seem to be able to manage a reasonable balance, but that hasn’t always been the case , and I know it’s a slippery slope, so to speak. My sister’s husband has never really been in control of his use and now they’re separated, which surprises no one.

I’m sorry you’ve been so affected by it in your life, but thanks for sharing because it helps reinforce the desire to steer away. Especially as my kids are getting to the age where they’ll start to internalize everything we do, I don’t want them to grow up in a house where alcohol is as present as it was in our house when we were in our 20's . We’re mostly very healthy people, so I like to think we’re on the right track. There’s always room to improve, though, right?

Side note - went for a great bike ride up a nearby mountain with two friends last night. I was really feeling it and just killed it, both up and down. Smoked both my friends who are by most measures far more capable, at least on the way up. 

functionoverfashion > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 08/21/2019 at 08:43

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Sounds like a great decision. And yeah, I find that when I don’t have one drink on weeknights, I’m less likely to have more on the nights when I do. I’ve just been in a rut over this summer, especially during our vacation week. I didn’t count the Coors Lights but I expect it was very many. 

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > functionoverfashion 08/21/2019 at 08:58

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The forthcoming summer will be our test.

The issue for me was putting away three beers before dinner, half a bottle of wine with dinner and perhaps another half/whole bottle after or a trio of Black Russians (so 9 full ‘nips’ of spirits )...and that was a weeknight. That had to stop.

TheRealBicycleBuck > functionoverfashion 08/21/2019 at 09:25

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Glad to hear you’re on a good path. I should have made that more clear in my response.

I’m jealous of the ride. I need to get back on the bike because I really haven’t ridden much at all since I started working in Houston. Traveling every week complicates things since I want to spend my time at home with my family instead of on the bike. Riding during the week is either on a crappy hotel exercise bike or I have to haul my bike with me and store it in a hotel room. That always sucks.

functionoverfashion > TheRealBicycleBuck 08/21/2019 at 09:44

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No worries at all, I thought your response was excellent, helpful, and totally on point.

For sure traveling makes it harder to get on a bike. I started riding at night when I had kids because that was the only time I could get. Lights these days are amazing, I have two and they’re as bright as car headlights, but small, light, and last more than long enough for the longest ride I ever take. Easier for MTB because you don’t have to worry about cars, but still. I was highly skeptical of night riding until I tried it with a proper light. It’s also cooler at night in the summer, and you get to see the stars, moon, whatever.

Anyway, it’s all good.